jeudi 19 mars 2015

The most interesting man in the world

So we've had threads on Chuck Norris which were fun...

How about the most interesting man in the world?

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100 quotes:

1.He gave his father "the talk"

2.His passport requires no photograph

3.When he drives a car off the lot, its price increases in value

4.Once a rattlesnake bit him, after 5 days of excruciating pain, the snake finally died

5.His 5 de Mayo party starts on the 8th of March

6.His feet don't get blisters, but his shoes do

7.He once went to the psychic, to warn her

8.If he were to punch you in the face you would have to fight off a strong urge to thank him

9.Whatever side of the tracks he's currently on is the right side, even if he crosses the tracks he'll still be on the right side

10.He can speak Russian... in French

11.He never says something tastes like chicken.. not even chicken

12.Superman has pajamas with his logo

13.His tears can cure cancer, too bad he never cries

14.The circus ran away to join him

15.Bear hugs are what he gives bears

16.He once brought a knife to a gunfight... just to even the odds

17.When he meets the Pope, the Pope kisses his ring

18.His friends call him by his name, his enemies don't call him anything because they are all dead

19.He has never waited 15 minutes after finishing a meal before returning to the pool

20.If he were to visit the dark side of the moon, it wouldn't be dark

21.He once won a staring contest with his own reflection

22.He can kill two stones with one bird

23.His signature won a Pulitzer

24.When a tree falls in a forest and no one is there, he hears it

25.He once got pulled over for speeding, and the cop got the ticket

26.The dark is afraid of him

27.Sharks have a week dedicated to him

28.His ten gallon hat holds twenty gallons

29.No less than 25 Mexican folk songs have been written about his beard

30.He once made a weeping willow laugh

31.He lives vicariously through himself

32.His business card simply says 'I'll Call You"

33.He once taught a German shepherd how to bark in Spanish

34.He bowls overhand

35.In museums, he is allowed to touch the art

36.He is allowed to talk about the fight club

37.He once won a fist fight, only using his beard

38.He once won the Tour-de-France, but was disqualified for riding a unicycle

39.A bird in his hand is worth three in the bush

40.His lovemaking has been detected by a seismograph

41.The Holy Grail is looking for him

42.Roses stop to smell him

43.He once started a fire using only dental floss and water

44.His sweat is the cure for the common cold

45.Bigfoot tries to get pictures of him

46.Werewolves are jealous of his beard

47.He once turned a vampire into a vegetarian

48.He once won the world series of poker using UNO cards

49.He never wears a watch because time is always on his side

50.He has taught old dogs a variety of new tricks

51.He has won the lifetime achievement award... twice

52.If opportunity knocks, and he's not at home, opportunity waits

53.Batman watches Saturday morning cartoons about him

54.When he was young he once sent his parents to his room

55.He once had an awkward moment, just to see how it feels

56.His beard alone has experienced more than a lesser man’s entire body

57.His blood smells like cologne

58.On every continent in the world, there is a sandwich named after him. His hands feel like rich brown suede

59.Mosquitoes refuse to bite him purely out of respect

60.He is fluent in all languages, including three that only he speaks

61.Once while sailing around the world, he discovered a short cut

62.Panhandlers give him money

63.When he goes to Spain, he chases the bulls

64.His shadow has been on the 'best dressed' list twice

65.When he holds a lady's purse, he looks manly

66.Two countries went to war to dispute HIS nationality

67.When in Rome, they do as HE does

68.His pillow is cool on BOTH sides

69.The Nobel Academy was awarded a prize from HIM

70.While swimming off the coast of Australia, he once scratched the underbelly of the Great White with his right hand

71.He taught Chuck Norris martial arts

72.Time waits on no one, but him

73.Once he ran a marathon because it was "on the way"

74.His mother has a tattoo that says "Son"

75.The star on his Christmas tree is tracked by NASA

76.Presidents take his birthday off

77.His recipe for deviled eggs involves actual witchcraft

78.He has never walked into a spider web

79.He is left-handed. And right-handed

80.His shirts never wrinkle

81.The police often question him, just because they find him interesting

82.His organ donation card also lists his beard

83.He doesn’t believe in using oven mitts, nor potholders

84.His cereal never gets soggy. It sits there, staying crispy, just for him

85.Respected archaeologists fight over his discarded apple cores

86.Even his tree houses have fully finished basements

87.His garden maze is responsible for more missing persons than the Bermuda triangle

88.If he were to say something costs an arm and a leg, it would

89.He’s never lost a game of chance

90.He is the life of parties that he has never attended

91.He was on a recent archaeological dig and came across prehistoric foot prints that lead out of Africa into all parts of the world. On close inspection, it turned out that the prints were his

92.He once caught the Loch Ness Monster….with a cane pole, but threw it back

93.His wallet is woven out of chupacabra leather

94.He played a game of Russian Roulette with a fully loaded magnum, and won

95.Freemasons strive to learn HIS secret handshake

96.If he was to pat you on the back, you would list it on your resume

97.He is considered a national treasure in countries he’s never visited

98.Cars look both ways for him, before driving down a street

99.He once tried to acquire a cold just to see what it felt like, but it didn’t take

100.He has inside jokes with people he’s never met.





The most interesting man in the world

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